The Story Behind It
Some
time period are transformation time period and it happened at levels. Once you
have gone through transformation you can never go back to who you were and what
you felt even few minutes before. One of these times you want to talk to people
who have understood and known you well. With this and my own experience as relationship
coach, I was processing why some people touch your life in a manner that you
can never forget them while other may have created a wow factor momentarily but never left an impact in long term.
By BHOOMI DIWA
Coming from professional experience I remember one of my bosses to be so empathetic about each person’s needs that everyone name would be spelt out in each meeting and some information will be there and if not there he will mention it. There will be times when other will be blaming his team but I have seen him to be calm and knew how to handle his own team and others. That level of empathetic person I am yet to meet again. Same goes in for two of my best friends I can never replace them. Way I can utter min words knowing I will never be judged them rather all suggestions will be for my improvement they are my thinktank. Whenever I am struggling those thinktanks are called for advice without hesitation eventhough they might not expertise.
Relationships especially the romantic long term relationships are not about love. When we go in relationship if we don’t like something about the relationship, how do we communicate? Are we provided with the load of voices to adjust to the level ? Are those statements said irrespective of the gender? Do we listen to those voices ? To what degree will you change? Will you try to change your personality altogether? With all changes some day you will not even recognize yourself and such people are the first people who will go in depression.
Nobody has taught us to effectively communicate our boundaries. Why can’t somebody clearly mention I don’t like this and this behaviour of you while I like rest? Why are we not taught to explain our boundaries? If those things happen again we can’t continue if any of them is a dealbreaker. Why do we have to be emotional about it?
“Real love is not based on romance, candle light dinner. It is based on respect, compromise, care and trust!! “
“Never above you. Never below you. Always beside you. Is the way to build relationship!”
Because we get too emotional around the fact that we might not get the same person or same job again. But we forget relationships are not build on love but on the respect, trust and understanding. Relationships come with a power dynamics and we should be partners not in master-servant kind of relationship. When you realize that you bring the value to the table but at the same time other person has to see the value. You will have the best conversation with whom you can sit silent for hours. Everybody comes with an agenda while there are only few people who don’t listen to answer but to understand you. People who embrace your past and your scares like you are wearing the diamonds are the best people. With such people you can go ahead a conversation in 5 minutes while with rest those points will not be achieved in 5 hours also. Never let such a person go away from your life. People will say if you spend so much time with someone else you can develop the understanding but trust me some knack of understanding you. If other person doesn’t see your value, doesn’t trust you or you are not able to communicate to each other after changing your style, may be it is time to walk away from the relationship. Those are harsh decisions but yes those are one of them you might have to take for peace of mind and health.
I agree. Excellent thought.
I think this can’t be understood unless we have gone through such a situation ourselves.
Respect and trust are the foundation of love. When you love someone you have hidden respect for them and that’s why true love is all about respect, trust, care and compassion. As usual, you have shared the thought beautifully and emphasised the point again for the reader. Point made beautifully.