This was a revelation for me also. While traveling to Sweden on my own using public transport. I realized woman were more open about their sexuality than you can imagine in a cold country . I have been to Europe ,they were much bolder than females back in my country but the way I saw it in Sweden was different on altogether different level.
I saw a girl peeing on road and no car stopped to sneak peak her private parts . That led to discussion with a local Indian friend of mine who was staying there for few months now .Gisting the discussion with them I realized in Sweden if as a guy you get excited to see a woman’s part is your problem not girl’s. If you touch a girl and she isn’t comfortable like one you get when bus hits the brake also , she has every right to call it a rape and you can put behind the bars. Forget about leeching eyes ,singing songs when a woman walks the street.
That was as woman also staying in Europe also a shock , I knew without consent is a rape but just a hand on shoulder and she isn’t comfortable can be called as rape was different level. I kind of felt safe ,safe , I can’t even tell you . Then it stuck me who decided that parameters here or there . Was it the women ?? If so, why so different approach in 2 different continents . May be whatever you accept becomes a norm. When you challenge that norm , atleast you are telling that world of even it’s norm I will not take it ,and I am above the standard mentioned by you or any person. You earn that standard but just one request it should be done in dignified way so that there is no blame game . But after that trip I started to wear what I wanted to wear not what world wants me to wear but I saw series of men who gave me that faith if they can’t control themselves seeing me it’s their problem not mine. Having said that we have to be judicious that we don’t hit our head in wall. Because in Europe also in one customer location along with few Desi Bhai behen , I was everyday searched from top to bottom and anything western apart from denim became my problem.I changed the way I dressed trying to fit and be accepted and stopped feeling myself , for people it was just a dress but to me, it was part of my soul how I carry myself , it was my identity & I felt lost among those people , I couldn’t connect with the crowd emotionally , mentally . End result, I understood the lyrics of the song Wake Me Up from Avicii.
Same is the case with rape prevention mechanism in India these days . Woman are told that they shouldn’t move out after certain time , the dress they need to wear , one minister going to an extent calling eating chowein for woman is the issue. If I hadn’t been to Sweden with open mind I would have believed rape is a problem of girls . No it’s the men who need coaching , counselling, stop repressing the woman. Even if we stay within a bathroom and four walls of home , someone will leech us in the bathroom also .In short whatever restrictions you can put in you can put but problem will not be solved . What happens when you have a bodycream on a dry skin while real reason is thyroid. Without treating thyroid we will keep on putting number of creams but problem will still persist . May be we will worried for hairfall in few days not just dry skin and all exterior treatment will not help much.
Is it time we ask our men to be more sensitive to woman’s need ? Is it time we stop asking men to putting facade on their face ? Is it time we let men to show their empathetic side . Is it time we stop asking women to hide behind the 12 inch yard while showing navel while crop top isn’t culture ? Is it time we let women be women ? If rapes are happening in night , then is it time we stop men to go in late ? We should hit and fix at the predator rather than prey .Is it time feminine side of men should be promoted , encouraged and appreciated for rather than being lashed out ? Is it time we make all females more self -reliant ? Is it time we balance the yin and yan energies in the world ?